Calling all 50+ in Barking and Dagenham!!!!

17th June 2013 - NEXT STAGES EVENT

Event around supporting older people over the age of 50. This event is aimed at anyone who wants to set up a business or community group. There will be opportunities to meet the business support organisations in the borough as well as talk to students at the college and share ideas. There will also be a chance to chat to other entrepreneurs and share experiences.

Barking & Dagemham College, Rush Green Campus, Dagenham Road, Romford Essex, RM7 OXU on June 17th between 2-4pm and meet people who can help! For more information contact Zoe Garbett (zoe.garbett@lbbd.gov.uk 0208 227 2311), you don’t need to book a place just drop in when you fancy!

Today on PCC Cribs . . .

. . . we are going inside Lucy's fridge!!

As you can see I own a fairly modest fridge decorated with my eight year old sons healthy eating chart he made at school. This week in half term his home work is to eat healthily. It would of been more useful if he had revealed this before I went shopping! 

So let's see what food lives behind a door like this!!

After taking all these photos it occurred to me maybe I should have been a bit more like MTV and staged my fridge but I guess the whole idea of what is in your fridge right now is to have a glimpse into reality.

Sooooo what have we got in here then?? 

All of our favorite drinks!! Milk for tea and one of George's favorite drinks, chocolate milk for George, a lil bottle of Fizz for mummy and daddy, exotic juice and cranberry juice and oh look more  milk :)

I am slowly realising how boring the contents of a fridge is and my mind is wandering to what my dream fridge would be! Not what it would be full of but if I could have my dream kitchen what dream fridge would I have??

Here are a few fridges I have pinned in my dream home board on Pinterest!  Far more interesting than my ready meals and condiment and cheese obsession!!

First up we have the gloriously vintage looking Smegg! I have a lot of these pinned but I am particularly drawn to baby pink and Tiffany blue colors! Stylish and kitch but not very practical as there isn't much freezer room.

This fridge is actually amazing but I don't think I will ever have a kitchen big enough to fit it in!!

My lovely son has chosen this dream fridge for me . . . 

For this time being I think I might try this with my existing fridge . . . a chalk board fridge!!

One day when I redo the kitchen I think this is more likely to be the type of fridge I can afford and fit in the kitchen!! Better start the fridge fund!!

How to accept a compliment . .

I must admit when I saw this subject I thought how terrible i used to be at accepting compliments! I used to mumble and turn a bit red and think the person paying me a compliment was lying or after something! Compliments made me very suspicious.  Through working at Positive Change and learning some simple confidence building techniques and having two amazing coaches in my life (Chris and Ros), who have helped me to look at the world differently, I have slowly mastered the art of accepting a compliment graciously.

Someone once told me that 'feedback is a gift, you can either choose to use it or throw it away'.  I strongly feel that a compliment is also a gift!  A gift of words especially for you and this gift is to be used and never thrown away.  Accepting a compliment is a sign of someone who is confident and self assured and is often a good way to build rapport with others by acknowledging their compliment of you.  Equally if someone gives you a heartfelt compliment shutting them down immediately can have negative effects and may make them feel like their opinion is wrong or not appreciated and can create barriers to communication.  Learning how to accept a compliment graciously will not only make you feel happier but will in turn leave a lasting impression on the person paying you a compliment through your positive reaction and genuine gratitude.

Why are we so bad at accepting compliments?

There are a number of theories as to why people find it hard accepting compliments. Reasons range from wanting to appear modest or not feeling as if the compliment is deserved to doubting the sincerity of the person giving the compliment.

A lot of it comes down to how we view ourselves, therefore when somebody’s kind words don’t reflect the image we see of ourselves, we have a tendency to immediately discount them.  For example, if someone compliments your appearance on a day you’re feeling unattractive, chances are your initial reaction will be to brush off what they’re saying. Not because you don’t appreciate their view, but because it doesn't fit with your own view of yourself in that moment.

Sometimes we also have a tendency to paint ourselves with a more modest brush because we worry about coming across as being overly confident or arrogant.

Choosing to say “thank you” (and truly meaning it) is one of the most important lessons in becoming more self-confident.  We’re often our harshest critics, which is why we can’t always see what other people do, making us less aware of our own beauty, intelligence, talents and kindness.

So how can we accept these beautiful gifts of words?

1.  Make eye contact.  Acknowledging a compliment is a perfect time to connect with someone. Look the person in the eye when you respond. Doing so communicates sincerity and self-confidence.

2. Say 'Thank you'.  So simple but I feel very important.  A sincere, unhurried 'thank you' teamed up with a smile and eye contact is sometimes all that is needed.  Not only is this a gracious way to acknowledge their words, but also what you’ll notice is an exchange of positive energy and a connection between you and the other person.

3. Less is more! Don't feel the need to explain yourself.  For example if someone says your new dress is nice or you look like you've lost weight, you don't then need to say 'oh no I haven't its because my new dress is black so it makes me look thiner'.  

4.  Dont feel you HAVE to reciprocate a compliment.  Only reciprocate when it comes naturally if you have to scratch around for a compliment it can come across as not being genuine.  It’s great to turn the love around, but just make sure you’re not doing it at your own expense or being over the top. It potentially diminishes their compliment and makes you look uncomfortable and ungrateful.

5. Fight the urge to downplay a compliment, which may be read as a personal rejection.  Downplaying a compliment can sound like 'oh it was nothing', 'its no big deal', and my favourite 'don't worry about it'.  Often it was a big deal and took you hours and by accepting the compliment you can also do something that often doesn't come naturally to most of us, which is acknowledging our own hard work and efforts.  Take the opportunity to pat yourself on the back for something you worked hard on and turned out to be a success!

6. Spread the love.   If someone says that she loves your belt, spread the love by telling her about the great bargain you got and where you picked it up from.  If someone compliments how you incorporated humour in the presentation you just gave, let him know how you were inspired by a particularly great speaker you saw last year. This kind of response helps establish a nice connection.

7. Acknowledge others.  If other people were involved in what you are getting praised for, share that! First, thank the person, and then tell them who helped you. For example, “I really appreciate you saying that! I worked hard, and I also couldn’t have done it without my team.”

8. Practice makes perfect.  Practice with people close to you.  Sometimes it’s easier to challenge yourself to accept compliments from those close to you, before moving on to unsuspecting public!  Let your family and close friends know that you’re working on accepting compliments so that they can call you out when you slip (or, hopefully, praise you further when you succeed!).

9. Bring your feelings to the table.  Sharing feelings is a very personal thing and can sometimes make us feel vulnerable and it becomes easier to do once you have practised accepting compliments and feel more confident doing so.   Don't be afraid to say “That makes me feel _______.” Possible emotions could be appreciated, understood, happy, honoured, touched,  and so on. Letting someone know how their words made you feel will make them feel more valued. And who doesn’t love that kind of feel-good loop!

Like any habit, it can take time to change your behavior, particularly if you’re having trouble believing what the other person is saying is true. However, by observing how you react each time and being mindful of your actions, it is a habit you can learn to change.

Learning how to accept a compliment graciously and with humility is an important part of strengthening the most important relationship you have – the one with yourself. It is also a way of connecting with those around us who wish to give us the gift of a compliment.

I hope you have found this helpful,

Lucy x

13 year old you!

What would you tell a 13 year old you?

There are so many things I could say, so much I have learned since the age of 13!  But would a 13 year old me of listened to a 30 something mum? Erm NO! At 13 I wanted people to listen to me!

Also I have learned so much since 13 is the most important statement in this blog!  I only learnt from the life I have lived.  I learnt most of my lessons in life through the experiences I have had, mistakes I have made and through people listening to me first and helping me make the best choices. Most of us know the answers to most problems deep down and it takes someone listening to us to find it and it can help you make the best decisions.  When you find your own solutions it is usually the most effective way to change.

My best advice to a 13 year old me is be yourself! And I would offer to listen.

Dream job

I think you could safely say I'm happy with my patchwork career at the moment.  What I mean by patchwork is my job at the moment is made up of a few different job's which i enjoy doing.  they feed my intellect and creativity. My role at Positive Change is only part time at the moment, I also work for a local charity part-time, I ebay a lot! and I buy and revamp vintage/antiques to resell.  My passion lies with Positive Change, which we would like to develop further to allow me to be full-time.  

We have a dream of a opening coaching cafe!  A place where people can meet for coffee and lunch, but also offer coaching and development services. We can run workshops from the cafe and even better if we had rooms to hold coaching retreats.  A place where people can take time out for theirselves, be it 20 minutes for a coffee or a whole self development weekend.  We could also offer alternative therapies such as Reki. 

We have lots of fantastic ideas to mix all of our interests and passions NLP, Reiki, Gestalt Therapy, Coaching, vintage, and craft!  Like visualising workshops where you can focus on where you want to be and build a physical vision of this in the form of a scrapbook page or a canvas.

My other dream jobs include chocolate taster or alcho pop inventor!! Lol

News-not-so-flash . . .

I didn't have time to read a newspaper or watch tv yesterday I was to busy!! You can tell Chris is on holiday! So this #bedm subject is my first failure :( 

NEWSFLASH - Chris should never be allowed to frolic in the sea in Turkey!!

I have had a quick look at today's headlines to keep up with current affairs (I must admit I don't really keep up-to-date with current affairs my head is much happier in the clouds) but nothing has inspired me  to write a blog post.  Think I will wait until something happens this week that inspires me.  The only thing that made me laugh was that Alan Sugar tweeted a false score during the football that resulted in Tottenham fans to cheer on reading said tweet to only find out he lied! Ah the power of social media is shocking at times.  Do you think we are becoming a nation that believes everything we read on social media sites?

Another subject in the media this week was our tremendous score of 21 in the Eurovision Song Contest! I mean really why do we bother? My son asked me why 'Sharon' from Eastenders was singing on TV when Bonnie Tyler was on which was the highlight of my Eurovision experience!  Don't even have Sir Terry commentating any more to make the whole experience more bareable!!

Rant over!! On to next subject of dream job!! Far more exciting :) see you in the next post!

Holidays are coming . . . Holidays are coming!!

The biggest tradition in my family is Christmas!! We have so many little things we have to do during the Christmas period and Christmas is on our minds all year long!  I always buy christmas decorations and wrapping in the january sales and continue squirrelling gifts all year round!  I have a christmas present cupboard already.

Christmas preparations officially start in December when I am allowed to start wrapping up!  It is a tradition to crack open the 1st (notice I say 1st!) bottle of Baileys when the 1st present is wrapped.  Wrapping can only take place in the presence of alcohol! Harvey's Bristol Cream, Port, Snow Balls and Baileys are all suggestible!!

2 weeks before Christmas it is time to deck the halls!! All the decs get dragged down from the loft and the Christmas tree go's up.  My tree is a memory tree! All of my baubles have come from around the world.  Everywhere I go I get one from New York to Mexico! I have decorations that were my Nan's I have baby 1st Christmas ones! You name an event or a place and I have a bauble for it!! It is our tradition to put the Christmas CD's on start another bottle of Baileys and decorate the tree as a family.

Since I can remember it has also been a tradition to take a trip to London to see the light's, Hamleys window displays and the tree in Trafalgar Square.  When I was a kid we always used to get a Wendy's burger on the way home.  In recent years we have introduced taking my son to Winter Wonderland and Wendy's has been replaced by hog in a roll with apple sauce! Yum yum!

Finally Christmas Eve arrives!! It's open house at my mum's so the present dropping off can commence! Chips and dips, home made sausage rolls, mince pies, festive cupcakes and lashing of Baileys!! People come and go brining and taking presents!  And then the moment I have been waiting for the 1st present is opened!! New pj's for seeing Santa in :)

Ok so whole family decked out in brand new pj's it's time to put out Santa's mince pie and beer (our Santa doesn't like milk and cookies!!) out by the fireplace along with my son's letter to the big man. When my son was small I started a few traditions of my own.  I mixed porridge oats with silver glitter and put it in a little velvet bag and told him it was magic reindeer food that helps them fly home.  We sprinkle this in the garden before bed. It sparkles in the moonlight and you can tell the little ones it helps the reindeers find your garden to land in!!  When the munchkin finally go's to sleep its time for another cheeky Baileys and wrap the turkey in bacon and tin foil and pop it in the oven low to cook through the night! Makes the house smell lush!! Officially at midnight it is Christmas and the adults are allowed to pick one present from under the tree to open!!  Then its off to bed with nothing left to do but wake up about 2am to put stockings at the bottom of everyone's bed! And I mean everyone's! Christmas isn't just for kids!!

At last the big day is here and it's time to open our stockings!! Each stocking must contain a Terry's chocolate orange or it is not Christmas!! I would like to say my son is so excited he wakes up at 4am, but I don't have a normal child I have one that likes his bed, so we have to go and wake him up with sleigh bells around 9am! I swear he is 8 going on 18!!  Then it's down stairs for homemade ham and eggs (traditional Christmas breakfast) accompanied by Buck's Fizz (unfortunately Baileys is not considered acceptable before 11am boooo!)  More presents this time from around the tree.  Then there is lots of frantic kitchen business before the dinner is ferried out on plates, in bowls and whatever else is to hand and we can all tuck in! Our traditional Christmas dinner is turkey with all the trimmings and brussel sprouts are compulsory! Then it's time for pud then after eights, followed by coffee and liqueur's (another Baileys don't mind if I do hic!).

We all waddle into the front room to watch the queens speech (this is code for time for a nap) and some of us slip off for a little lie down and put on a pair of elastic aged waisted trousers!!  After a little power nap it's traditional to make and eat a selection of sandwiches consisting of turkey and cranberry, ham and mustard, pork and apple sauce and anything else u can put in a sandwhich!(Baileys is optional at this point). And then you have to play cards, either brag or Newmarket, until the wee hours of the morning!!  Time for bed looking forward to my next favourite tradition Boxing Day bubble and squeak!

Boxing Day is almost as big a tradition in my house as Christmas! There are a few rules though!  

No. 1 You must not get dressed, 

No. 2 You have to only eat left over Christmas food,

No. 3 You cannot leave the house,

No. 4 You must play with all your new toys!!

Boxing Day is a relaxed event in our house to get over all the excitement of Christmas Day.  We have a full English with bubble and squeak. Slob around in our pj's all day looking at each others presents and putting batteries in all of my sons new toys.  We eat cold cuts with mash, pickles, pickled onions, beet root and red cabbage, all washed down with (no not more Baileys!!) cram soda! Mmmmmmm! I am mainly tea total on Boxing Day to give my liver a rest!

What are your family traditions?